R.I.P. Van Winkle

Frederick Offrein has had a lot of issues with his closest celebrity friends dying lately. Rumors circulated in the early 1970's that Michael Jackson, Farah Fawcett, Ed McMahon and Steve McNair were involved sexually with Frederick Offrein. However false these claims were, they were close enough to being accurate. Frederick Offrein spent most of the 1970's modeling and cuddling with models and various other celebrities that visited Sweden during that decade.

Farah Fawcett first met Frederick Offrein while vacationing in Zurich. They just so happened to bump hands when fishing through public ashtrays for cigarette butts. Offrein noticed the yellow tint to Fawcett's hands and thought that she was an Asian woman with large locks of golden hair. Oddly enough, Farah Fawcett thought the same of Offrein and the two resisted their inner urges to get caught up in the "Yellow Fever."

A couple years after their first visit Frederick Offrien and Farah Fawcett were scheduled to both be on the Tonight Show starring Johnny Carson and that was when they both met Ed McMahon. Frederick Offrein and Farrah Fawcett were solicited by Johnny Carson, on behalf of Ed McMahon. Offrein immediatly rejected the offer to fuck Ed McMahon and in the process lost out on getting a go with Farrah Fawcett. As it turns out, Farrah Fawcett and Ed McMahon would fornicate on that night after the show for the amusement of Johnny Carson while Frederick Offrein stood outside of the dressing room to keep fans from interrupting the entertainment.

Frederick Offrein felt so alone after being the fourth wheel in a voyeristic excursion that he met up with the Jackson Five after McMahon, Fawcett and Carson all cleaned up. Frederick Offrein was only really interested in spending time alone with little Michael Jackson and he asked the young music star to come back to his motel and watch Fantasia with him. Michael was so intrigued by Frederick Offrein's big bushy beard that he couldn't even attempt to say "no."

As Michael Jackson matured he continually looked back to the night that he and Frederick Offrein spent together. Some people cite Frederick Offrein as the source of Michael Jackson's public display and rationalization of cuddling with little boys. Though this might be true, that is not the end of Frederick Offrein's influence on MJ. Michael Jackson has gone on the record as to credit Frederick Offrein for inspiring him to buy his first Monkey Friend, Bubbles.

Frederick Offrein missed out on a lot of great experiences with Farrah Fawcett, Ed McMain and Michael Jackon because he was able to maintain his ability to abstain from sexual relations. Because of this Offrein made sure to use former NFL star Steve McNair as a object for his sexual satisfaction.